And then I stopped.
Out of nowhere, it seems. It wasn't a gradual maturity process, or even a gradual "I've listened to these songs over and over for two years. Maybe enough now" process. I just stopped liking it.
I discovered this on Monday.
We had to do presentations in Jazz about a musical or musical theater choreographer, and on Monday, a girl presented about Rent. She talked about the plot, the writer, the characters, and then she showed some clips from the show.
Surprisingly enough, my reaction wasn't disgust, or boredom, or annoyance. It was embarrassment. From the moment she showed the poster:
I experienced an unpleasant flashback reaction, in which I saw myself listening to the soundtrack, taking the message to heart...God, this is humiliating to talk about. I can't believe how into this stupid musical I was! Now, the emotions, the plot, the songs all just seem overblown to me. Maybe I distorted them myself, maybe they were never that good in the first place, but it was really surprising to hear "No Day But Today" and feel a wave of shame followed by ennui. I wasn't expecting that.
Similar, but definitely less dramatic, was my infatuation with Juno in freshman year.
Do you see her outfit there? I used to dress like that. Every. Day. This was partly a peer pressure thing, because all of my friends and the people whom I wanted to befriend liked Juno (it was freshman year, what do you want), so I was a little more into it than I might have otherwise been. Maybe. I didn't really think Ellen Page was as hot as my friends thought, but I did admire her style of dress on a wholly non-ironic level. And I wore skirts over pants, layered T-shirts, and a red sweater very similar to the one worn by Ellen Page in the movie. I couldn't wear my hair like hers because it was too short for a ponytail, but I did a modified version. And....this is the most painful thing of all...I listened to Kimya Dawson. A lot.
In retrospect...these things were pretty goddamn stupid. I give my family a lot of credit for allowing me among normal humans in the midst of my very specific cultural infatuations. I'm glad I'm above these stupid obsessions. I've matured.
Excuse me, I have to listen to Nellie McKay on vinyl now.
Because that's less pretentious? I was right there with you on RENT (I've seen it three times, once with Anthony Rapp playing Mark (and I've read his book about being in RENT, so I'm even worse)), and even though I'm very very over it now I don't feel disgusted by it. We liked it, now we don't. It really speaks to a lot of people, and I don't think it's that terrible to outgrow things. We weren't wrong, just different.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, it's so weird to me that you and your friends dressed the same as me and my friends despite eight years difference. You wore LITERALLY the same clothes I did. Very weird.
DeleteSecond, I'm having trouble thinking of anything like that for me (though I'm sure you, dear sisters, would be glad to remind me of some). Most of the things I was obsessed with when I was younger I still adore now. And those I've cooled on I still feel fond of in retrospect. Does this mean I've always had excellent taste or I'm super juvenile? You decide.