HONS training lasted a week (give or take a little) of nonstop lectures about resources, wellness, how to be a leader, and I still find myself feeling a lot like I felt at camp this summer. Not when I was in the kitchen cooking--I'm awesome at that-- but when I ventured out amongst the campers and they had problems I could not solve or even respond appropriately to. I once had a conversation with a nine-year-old (let's call her Hannah) about her friend, Girl A (names omitted because I forgot them) who wanted to be friends with a new camper, Girl B. Hannah felt she was losing Girl A's friendship because she and Girl B didn't get along, so they couldn't hang out together, but Girl A and Girl B were inseparable. The solution to this problem, of course, is "don't be a nine-year-old girl." Obviously this was not feasible for Hannah, but as I could not think of a solution that might actually work, I just sat there awkwardly and made sympathetic noises. Then I changed the subject.
You'd think that my lack of helpfulness would be because counselors went through problem-solver training or something, something I did not do because it would be nonessential for kitchen staff. Guess what? There was no such training! The counselors were just more competent than I. Now I have gone through training, and I still don't feel prepared. Like it or not, during orientation, a HONS is pretty much a camp counselor, and the biggest difference is substance consumption. I really want to be good at my job, I just hope I don't freak people out on account of being overzealous or socially awkward.
I think the most helpful thing will be to figure out my approach to problem solving. It might be that whenever I want to talk to anybody about anything serious, I'll have to invite them over for tea, or to take a walk, or just into the kitchen. Maybe it's just my friends and family, but I have found that people are more willing to open up when doing something other than talking, and even more willing if they're in a kitchen. Even if they aren't cooking! I bet it has something to do with childhood associations, and a kitchen reminds you of home or at least the stereotypical home atmosphere, so you subconsciously relax.
I can do this. And hey, if I ruin everything, I can always move out.
Today's music: Michelle Shocked, album Short Sharp Shocked. If I ever write my own cookbook, I'd like to add songs that correspond to each recipe. A lot of vegan cookbooks do that, but those songs are all metal. Silly vegans! Food responds best to love, not rage!
You won't ruin everything, and thus you won't have to move out. Problem solved!
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