Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Desperation purely for entertainment value

Dear Jake's,
Did you get my email? Did you get my resume? Did you get my message? I hope I don't seem creepy here, I just really, really want to work for you.
Why don't you have a website? If you had a website, I could check to see if you're still hiring and I wouldn't have to call and leave a message that you'll never answer. But you probably aren't still hiring, because you're so fantastic I bet this whole town sat up when you posted that ad on Craigslist.
I want to work for you.
I want to work for you because I admire the quality of your establishment, because I think I'm actually very qualified for such work, and because if you don't hire me I might have to start working as a fetish model or an exotic dancer so I can pay my tuition.
Please hear my plea and call me. Just an interview. Please?
Hugs and butterfly kisses,
Lily
P.S. Tell all the other applicants to bugger off.

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