Here's the thing. I know it's conceited to talk about how hot you are, but it's good to think that you're hot and not talk about it. When I try to be modest, I just put my appearance out of my head and convince myself not that I'm unattractive, but that my appearance is just a sort of void. I've been doing this for so long that I don't even tell myself to think that way anymore; it's second nature. Then, when someone checks me out or flirts with me, I don't notice because I am trying not to be conceited. It's a problem I'm slowly getting over. My sex appeal has always been based on the fact that I was unaware the appeal I actually had. That was what made me attractive, or so I've been told. But most of that obliviousness is self-imposed.
Where is the line between confidence and conceit? At times I'm so confident I'm almost overheated with the assurance that nothing will ever go wrong for me, but those are the times when people think I'm stuck-up. It's really frustrating because, as I previously mentioned, I want to make friends with everybody, but I also don't want people to think I'm some sort of shrinking violet. Then I go overboard and come on too strong. Jon and Aria told me to be less abrasive at my end-of-summer review, but I can't seem to find the happy medium.
No comments:
Post a Comment